Are You Emotional Distancing in Your Relationship?



If you and your spouse or significant other are having relationship problems, there's a good chance there is a communication gap between you that keeps widening every day. You might call it EMOTIONAL DISTANCING.


A character's line in a 2005 movie identifies what might be the issue.


In the movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a married couple's relationship is lackluster and full of secrets. John, played by Brad Pitt, and Jane, played by Angelina Jolie, are hiding from each other the fact each are assassins working for competing agencies.


When they are both assigned to kill the same target, the truth comes to the surfaces. They also have another thing in common. They are seeing the same therapist.


In one of her therapy sessions, Mrs. Smith tells the therapist she believes she and her husband have a big gap in their relationship that holds all the things they never say to each other.


This revelation summarizes the major issue couples have in relationships, whether they are married or significant others, if they are with each other for any period of time.


Mistrust Will Fill the Vacuum


When partners are not open and honest with each other, mistrust and emotional distance start filling that vacuum. Better communication between you and your partner enhances mutual trust. The end result is reliance and confidence in each other, and feelings of security.


Consider these three suggestions.

  1. In conversations, elaborate on what you mean and ask open-ended questions. Both will invite more meaningful communication.

  2. Actively listen to each other, not anticipating what to say when the other stops speaking. Also, don't try to be a mind reader, trying to guess what they are thinking.

  3. Make talking to each other a priority. Set aside time to enjoy each other's company and talk about each other's day.

Quotes to Remember


"The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.

(Proverbs 16:23)


“Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold.

William Paisley